That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
