So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize