You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i believe in u and ur pee
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
