Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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