Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize