i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
