There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
