she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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