This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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