I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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