Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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