Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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