so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
