vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
