Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
