we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
