hotel room ftw
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
