im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
