Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize