He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
