just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
