You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
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I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
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It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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