What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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