Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
