the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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