Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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