i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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