I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
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don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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