Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize