Are we in a gay sports bar?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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