My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
