Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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