i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
