know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
