new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize