Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Mom said you looked used
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
