i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
ok first of all what the fuck
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
