You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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