Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
