I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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