..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
