Pants 0. Shit 1.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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