Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
