WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
