Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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