it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
