i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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