Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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