Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
