beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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