very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
