Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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