Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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