Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
