I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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