White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
