Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
