He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
