hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
