I've blown a few things in my day
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
