I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i think i just lost a toe
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize