its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
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I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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